Dear Angry White Man

Dear Angry White Man,

You do not get to have the last word. Even though another white male leader (of an ostensibly social justice-minded weeklong activist writing retreat) handed you the microphone on the last day so you could defend all generic white men from the “trigger words” (your term) of white male privilege. I do realize that you live in the whitest state in our country and in one of the remotest areas of that state (Oregon, in case people don’t know). I do realize that you have a fragile white male ego and that it would be devastating for you to admit that you have in the past and continue to benefit from nothing more than the (socially constructed) pale color of your skin and the fact that you are male. Devastating, because to admit that would be what? Humiliating? Humbling?

You do not get to have the last word. Do you realize how creepy and inappropriate it is to tell us (an otherwise all-female small writing workshop group) that you have “been closely observing us all week”? Especially when there were a significant number of young women emerging writers in our group? I chose to turn my back to you and to literally walk away at both of these times. For me, that was the appropriate choice given the circumstances. I do not regret that choice. What I do regret is ever having participated in praising your bravery in being in an otherwise all-female writing workshop and for (your words) being there “to work on my white male privilege.” I realize now that was a ruse. I regret that I fell for it early on. I do not fall for it now. You were not there to work on it; you were there to assert it even more.

Dear ostensibly social justice-minded activist writing retreat leaders wherever you are:

Please be mindful of who you hand the microphone to. Please be mindful of who walks away (and why). Please be more careful. Please be more skillful and educated in how to facilitate productive and respectful difficult conversations. Our world, and especially our very broken country, needs you to be more mindful, more careful.